Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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