You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
