Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
