I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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