Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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