Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Randomize
