I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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