Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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