No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
