She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
