I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We need to get me chipped asap
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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