I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
