thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
