One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
