I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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