I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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