What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Never let your siblings swipe right.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
