Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
