i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
