how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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