careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
