I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
