do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
