you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
