I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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