Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize