Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
