I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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