just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
