One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
