Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
