there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
last night I used snow as a chaser
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