I'm really into asian looking animals
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
