Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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