Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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