Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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