Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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