Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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