i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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