he puts the penis in happiness.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
