Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
