Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
