why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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