Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
