anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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