I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
