Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
