Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
