what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize