I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
And the cops told us we were all naked.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
NoShamevember. You game?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
