Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
