dude i'm inner monologue high
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize