If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I want her autograph on my taint
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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