What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
