whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
