last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
