Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
