aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
