Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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