I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
