My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
