problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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