so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
