is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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