I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
