We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Who died my cat blue again?
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