we have officially lost it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize