Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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